


papa, can you hear me?

by authoricallyIndustrious



Category: Original Work
Genre: Character Study, Lesbian Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22095421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authoricallyIndustrious/pseuds/authoricallyIndustrious
Summary: "papa, can you hear me?papa, can you see me?papa, can you find me in the night?papa, are you near me?papa, can you hear me?papa, can you help me not be frightened?looking at the skies I see a million eyeswhich ones are yours?where are you nowthat yesterday has waved goodbyeand closed it's doorsthe night is so much darkerthe wind is so much colderthe world is so much biggernow that I am alone"
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	papa, can you hear me?

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy so I'm not dead  
> this is basically just a character study I did on one of my dnd-characters-turned-oc. she's a trans lesbian, and I wanted to explore her a bit, especially her relationship with her father, so. this was born

at three fifty-two in the afternoon on a clear summer day, sky cassidy was born. his mama had never given birth to such a large baby, never given birth to any baby at all, and his papa hadn't expected there to be just one of him. sky came into this world kicking and screaming and his papa laughed. "he's gonna make it, alright," his papa said. "he's got that cowboy spirit."

when sky was three, he got a baby brother. sky didn't know how to feel about that, because he rather liked sitting with mama in the kitchen and going with papa to see their cows, and a baby brother means he gets to do those things less. he went into his parents' bedroom fully expecting to hate his brother, but when he saw how small sunny was, he couldn't help the instinct to protect this tiny, wonderful thing.

when sky was five, six, eight, he became the proud big brother of michael, rook, and calvin. the first time, he taught sunny how to be a big brother, and did the same each time for the next of his brothers. by the time calvin was born, sky was the (un)official protector of four entire people, six if you counted mama and papa, which he did. he couldn't be happier.

when sky was ten, he finally got a baby sister. he crept into his parents' bedroom, shadowed by four figures of varying smallness, and looked up at mama with wide eyes. she smiled and held the bundle out to him, and sky took his sister, now experienced in holding bundles. he looked down at her face, watched her sneeze, and promised to himself that he'll protect her the most.

when sky was ten, his papa died saving him in a fire. it had been a dry summer and he was playing with sunny in the barn, wielding a bucket like a shield while sunny held a small pitchfork, made so the kids could pitch hay as well. there had been a spark, and a blaze as the hay lit up like papa's fireworks on the fourth of july. sky pushed sunny out of the barn, but inhaled a lot of smoke as he did, and ended up falling to his knees in a coughing fit. papa had come in, not caring about how his fur burned, and carried sky out of the barn.

when sky was ten, he crept into his parents' bedroom to see his papa. papa had been burned, really badly. sky might not have been smart like michael, but he could tell papa wasn't doing too good, and he wanted to see him, to talk to him, to say he's sorry. papa had looked at sky, and smiled, and put his hat on sky's head. "you keep this safe, little cowboy," he had said. "you've still got people to keep safe, and what's a cowboy without his hat?" 

when sky was ten, he ran crying and screaming out of his parents' bedroom. he wasn't normally one to cry, usually wiping his brothers' tears, but as he clung to mama's skirts, he couldn't help but weep. "papa's gone," he sobbed. "papa's gone." it was that night that sky decided he wanted to be a firefighter, and keep other boys from watching their papas die right in front of them after saving them in a fire.

when sky was eleven, he came up with the idea of the pies. "well," he said, voice still shaky with grief. "papa liked pecan pies, right? especially the ones we made from our tree. so, what if we get all the pecans that fall on his- on him, and make him pies?" mama had kissed the top of his head and said that it's a wonderful idea, called him a sweet, clever boy. he didn't know why, but he being called a boy didn't make him feel very good.

when sky was thirteen, he sat under papa's tree, like he always did when there's something on his mind. "papa," he said. "I, I don't know what's going on, but I don't think I wanna be a boy anymore. I don't know if this is normal, or if this is supposed to happen or- or if it's okay, but, i- I think I'm a girl, papa." sky sat under papa's tree and, as she spoke, she realized she was telling a truth she didn't know existed until now.

when sky was fourteen, she asked mama if she could help with making a pie. this one wasn't for papa, they had made that one a week and a half ago. mama had said of course, so, standing next to mama, making the pie crust, sky took a deep breath and said "mama? I don't wanna be a boy anymore. I wanna be a girl." and mama, blessed, wonderful mama, had said "that means you _are_ a girl, sweetheart. no matter who you are, who you were, who you will be, you're my sky, my baby, and I love you." and sky released a breath she didn't know she was holding, and hugged mama. and her mama hugged back.

when sky was fifteen, she kissed a girl for the first time. she had always thought girls were pretty, but after realizing that she was she and not he, she didn't know if she was still allowed to like girls. she had talked to papa about it, getting nothing but silence in return, but sky had already gotten used to that. sky asked mama about it, and mama said that it's okay for sky to like girls. "I'll tell you a secret, darlin," mama had said. "I like girls too. there's nothing wrong with that. you just go on loving, and if you wanna love girls, you go ahead and love girls." so sky did, and she kissed a girl for the first time, and she loved it.

when sky was sixteen, she brought a girlfriend home for the first time. mama and the boys and ash liked her okay enough, and later, when everyone was asleep, sky took her into the hayloft and had sex for the first time. it was clumsy and awkward, but it was good enough. the next day, sky thought about taking the girl to meet papa, but decided against it. the girl was sweet, but not special enough to meet papa. papa is special, and private, and sky's, and she wanted to be sure about a girl before taking her to meet papa.

when sky was eighteen, mama gave her the best birthday present ever. "I know you want to look more like yourself, darlin," mama had said. "so, I've been scrapin' together some money, so you can do that." and a week later, mama took her to the doctor for a surgery. when sky woke up and looked down at herself, she started crying, because "now you have a chest to match your heart, darlin," mama had said. "I hope it makes you happy, sugar. happy birthday."

when sky was twenty-two, she brought a girl home to meet her family. the girl's name was silver, and sky loved her, more than she'd loved any other girl. mama liked silver, and so did sunny, and michael, and rook and calvin and ash. silver had met sky's family and fit in seamlessly, but she hadn't met everyone. 

when sky was twenty-two, she brought silver to papa's tree. it was a nice, peaceful day, the kind papa had always loved. 

when sky was twenty-two, she said "hey papa, I brought someone to meet you."

**Author's Note:**

> so um, yeah. hope yall liked this thing abt my girl  
> sorry it's not fandom related, but I thought it was good enough to post anyway. if any of yall have questions about sky or just, any if this in general I guess, feel free to ask away in the comments!!


End file.
